


Escaping Paradise

by brittany2922



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Action, Angst, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Natasha, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Clint Barton is a pain in the ass, F/M, Gen, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Mystery, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Romance, SHIELD, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 11:25:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6954568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittany2922/pseuds/brittany2922
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy knew what it was to truly love someone... She also knew what it was to lose them. Two years after she buried the man she promised to marry an ominous package arrives. A package that makes her question everything she thought she knew. Finding the truth propels her back into a world she had left behind years ago and changes everything she thought she wanted in life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first time writing a Steve and Darcy fic. I never even shipped them until about a month ago when I read an amazing fic by SarcasticFina over on Live Journal and now they are one of my favorites. 
> 
> This story will be 10 chapters long and is mostly written already so I will be updating every 2-3 days.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys!

June 2012 

“You could stay you know? Just keep being the World’s Best Personal Assistant,” Jane suggested as she hugged Darcy tightly. “What about a raise?” She offered, “I could give you an awesome raise.” 

She chuckled kindly as she stepped back from her friend, “I’m an intern, Jane. An unpaid intern,” she reminded.

“Then it’d be really easy to give you more money, wouldn’t it?” She smiled mischievously. “A lot more money.” 

Darcy walked over to her desk laughing loudly. She lifted her satchel bag from the back of her chair and flung it over her shoulder before picking up a neatly packed cardboard box of her personal items from around the lab. “You’ll be fine Jane, I promise.” She took a step back toward the door then stopped and jerked her head toward the kitchen. “I left you a survival basket. Everything you could possibly need including an obscene amount of Pop Tarts, delicious imported coffees, and a battery operated alarm clock already set for meal times.”

“You’re too good to me,” she declared crossing the distance between them and pulling the younger woman into another quick hug, even though Darcy couldn’t hug her back with her hands full. “How will I manage to find anyone half as good as you?”

“It won’t be easy,” Darcy admitted with a small yet proud grin. “Speaking of my replacement though, I left something else for you beside the basket.”

“Darcy, no. I already told you that I don’t want anyone else. At least not right away.” She crossed her arms over her chest and Darcy almost laughed at how young her friend looked as she pouted, “I need time to focus on my work. I can’t waste it training someone who won’t be nearly as good as you were.”

“Just take a look at the files.” She ordered as she moved toward the lab door. “I met with each applicant myself and found you three really amazing options. You’ll like them,” she promised. “Just don’t wait too long, you never know what kind of under qualified wise ass you’ll end up with if you do.”

“It worked out well enough for me last time.”

Darcy snorted and gave her one firm nod, “It did, didn’t it?” Before she passed through the door she turned back, ”Hey Jane?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s been...” She couldn’t find the words. How could she sum up all they had been through with a single word or even a single sentence? Hell, she doubted an entire book could cover it.

“Unforgettable?” Jane offered.

She guessed that would have to do. “Unforgettable,” Darcy repeated happily as she mulled the word over internally, “I like that.” She agreed with a single definitive nod and sent her boss, now more a dear friend then her employer, a final wave and finally walked out the lab door.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

One year later...

Darcy stared in up in disbelief at the New York City skyline. Large otherworldly beasts were currently on a rampage and destroying her favorite city in the world. Aliens... again... seriously?! 

She ran as fast as her feet would carry her toward somewhere she hoped would still be open. The deli she went to several times a week to pick up her bosses lunch. She reached the door and sighed in relief when it opened. It was after she was inside that she noticed that it was empty. Not wanting to go back into the chaos outside and not knowing where else to go she bolted to the tiny bathroom in the back and locked the door behind her. Not that locks would keep out any super powered extraterrestrials, but hey, why not? 

She couldn’t believe this shit was happening again. 

After leaving Jane’s employ a year ago she had found another job quicker then she thought she would. It not only paid well but it was actually in her preferred field. It was finally something she could put her well earned degree in Political Science to good use for.

She was able to spend nearly eight months working as the underling to an underling of an underling for the Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. It had been a dream come true, especially as far as first time real world jobs go. Part of her knew that she’d only found such an amazing job so easily because of her involvement with a well known Norse God and his connection to a certain super secret government agency. The opportunity was way to good to pass up though, and she couldn’t deny that she appreciated the help, at least to an extent. After getting a leg up on her first job she wanted to earn her next one on her own. That was how she had ended up in New York. After two months of looking for opportunities in DC she had decided to move ahead elsewhere.

It was there that she finally found a job working for another woman. This one was still a member of the democratic party, but instead of working for the Secretary of State she was working in the office of a Junior Senator. It felt just as good as getting her last job, because she knew she had earned this one herself.

Yet, as she found herself hiding in the bathroom of the Junior Senators favorite sandwich shop she was silently kicking herself for coming to New York at all. 

After twenty minutes of cowering like someone who’d never seen anything like this before her curiosity finally got the better of her. Stepping up to the door she slowly cracked it open and peeked through the tiny opening. The building was still completely empty, of course. The only difference was that now the entire front wall of the building was nothing more than a pile of crumpled concrete and broken glass. 

Darcy stumbled as she crawled over the pile of rubble and started to fall face first. She managed to catch herself with only inflicting a few small cuts to her hands from the pieces of scattered glass. Rolling her eyes at herself she used the uninjured sides of her palms to carefully push herself up, and after several minutes of maneuvering her way through the destruction she was finally out of the deli and making her way down the demolished remains of the street.

She glanced up just in time to see Iron Man fly through the large hole in earth’s atmosphere. She was so focused on him that she missed the sound of footsteps behind her and was startled by the feeling of something hard pressed firmly into the small of her back.

“Don’t move.” A deep voice grunted.

“You have got to be kidding me?”

“Don’t move.” He repeated. Digging what she now realized must be the barrel of a gun further into her. “Give me your purse.”

“Are you seriously mugging me during an alien invasion? Who does that? Idiot...” she mumbled as her eyes darted around her to check for the best route to escape.

“What the hell did you just say to me you little bitch?”

“I said schmidiot?”

“You think that’s funny?” He demanded, clicking back the trigger.

“Actually, under normal circumstances I’ve been known to have quite the sense of humor... Some have called me hilarious even.”

“Look, just give me the purse lady.”

“I don’t have a purse,” she pointed out. “Kinda lost it during the whole aliens trying to take over New York thing. Surely you can see that?” She pointed at herself and her lack of anything other than the clothes on her back.

Before he could respond she heard a loud thud, felt the gun fall away and watched it land down between her feet. Without thinking she picked it up and whipped around pointing the gun at another man than the one on the ground.

“I surrender,” he joked holding his hands up. Darcy studied him closely. He was young, but older than her. Maybe only by a year or two. He wore a very expensive, at least by the looks of it, camera around his neck. 

She had no idea why but as soon as he held his hand out to her she just knew she was safe with him. He helped her step over the collapsed man at their feet and led her farther away from the carnage of the Avengers showdown.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Three months later found her on yet another date with her camera man. His name turned out to be Andrew Miller. He was a photojournalist for a small locally run internet newspaper, hence the nice camera he had worn around his neck the day they met. 

After he had saved her from the mugger things between them had developed quickly. It was definitely in a good way, though. She really liked him. He was smart and charming, funny and kind. It also didn’t hurt that he was really nice to look at. So when coffee dates had turned into lunches, and lunches to dinners she was ecstatic. The only thing that hadn’t been fast between them was their physical relationship. 

In the past she would have spent hours trying to figure out why he didn’t want to sleep with her, but with him she understood and agreed. They were taking that part of their relationship slow, getting to know each other on a deeper level, and honestly she was enjoying it more then she ever thought she could.

She was ready now though, and she hoped that he felt the same way. She listened as he spoke of his most recent assignment. This would be the first time that the paper he worked for would be sending him out of the city, and she was so happy for him.

He pushed his thick black framed glasses up his nose and smiled brightly at her. He really was so handsome and it was in that slightly nerdy way that she had always been a sucker for. 

She couldn’t fight the grin that erupted. She didn’t know how it had happened so quickly but she was certain she was already falling in love with him. She just hoped he felt the same way about her. 

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

She and Drew hadn’t slept together that night. It just hadn’t felt right. They didn’t want something that should be amazing to be saturated with the sadness of him leaving. He was going to be gone for at least a month, possibly even two, and it just hadn’t felt right. 

It was the night he came back that they finally slept together for the first time. It had been amazing, but he had barely been back for a month before another assignment came in, this one sending him even farther than the last. Then there was another one, and another, and another. It had reached the point where he was gone far more then he was in New York. The time apart was unbearable for both of them, but they tried to make sure that when they were together they made up for it.

It was amazing but harder for her than she was willing to let on. She would never make him compromise his goals for her.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

They were out celebrating their two year anniversary. They were actually celebrating a week late since he was out of town yet again on the actual day. Their night out was ending with them sitting in the deli she had once taken up refuge in during the New York attack. 

She smiled at him as they sat across from each other their fingers linked. “How was your trip?”

“Lonely.”

“It better have been.”

“Come on Darce, you know you’re the only girl for me.”

“I do.”

“In fact I’ve been thinking?” he tugged a small box from his pocket and placed it on the table between them, “open it,” he instructed when she stared at it like it may explode. “Please?”

She didn’t look at him as he slid the box toward her slowly and flipped it open.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“You know I’m completely crazy right?”

“I do.”

“That you’re basically asking to tie yourself to my particular brand of crazy,” she lifted her hands and drew circles with her fingers next to both temples. “forever.”

“Yep.” He pulled the box back from her and pulled it from the soft black velvet surrounding it, “and for the record I love everything about your particular brand of crazy.” He placed his hand palm up on the table top and looked toward her left hand pointedly.

“I love you too.”

“Is that a yes?”

Smiling brightly she placed her hand in his. “Yes.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

“As we gather to commend our brother Andrew to God our Father and to commit his body to the earth let us express in Prayer our common faith in...”

Darcy tuned out the minister. He was there for Drew’s mother more then anything else. While her fiance had his beliefs he didn’t need all the pomp and circumstance of a formal burial. He would have been just as happy with those he loved most standing around and telling stories about why they had loved him. 

Her fiance.

Darcy’s eyes drifted down to the small and delicate diamond that rested on her left hand. They were only a few days from their wedding when the private jet he had been traveling on from Cairo to the U.S. had crashed.

They would already be husband and wife if things had been different. Holding back a sob she turned to look at Drew’s mother.

She gripped Darcy’s hand and pulled the younger woman closer to her. Though it didn’t provide her any comfort. She’d always found it funny that she had never even met his mother until they were engaged and even more bizarre that this was the first time she had seen her since their first introduction.

The minister finished his prayer and looked to Darcy, “and now Andrew’s fiancee would like to say a few words.” Darcy’s eyes snapped to him and she swallowed heavily. The ache in her chest grew stronger with each step she took. When she stepped next to the minister he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Um... I’m sure most people who do this take some time before hand to plan out the perfect eulogy, and I wish I could say that’s what I did but...” she shook her head started again. “Andrew loved what he did, he was...” 

She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. 

She saw him beside her. 

His hand when he held it out to her the first time they met. 

Their first date. 

Their first night together.

The night he proposed.

Her eyes fluttered open and she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Drew was a great man. He was good and kind to everyone he met, and I loved him more then I ever thought it was possible to love another person. The only thing that breaks my heart more than losing my chance to spend the rest of my life with him is that he’ll never have the chance to do all the things he wanted to.” She couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face. “One night after he came back from a pretty awful assignment we talked about bucket lists, talked about all the things we were going to do together... Things that are never going to happen...” clearing her throat she stepped forward and placed her hand to the top of his casket. “I love you Andrew and you deserved better.”

The people around her and the minister started moving to his casket each placing a yellow rose on it and saying a goodbye. It was after everyone was gone that she felt a tiny arm wrap around her. She turned her head and smiled weakly at her friend, “Jane.” She wrapped her arms around her and finally let the sobs take over her body.


	2. Chapter 2

Two Years Later...

Darcy forced herself to focus on the screen in front of her. She was right in the middle of a very important research project for the Junior Senator but her eyes kept drifting to the desk calender beside her monitor. Just a few weeks ago had been the second anniversary of Andrew’s death. 

Two Years. It hardly seemed possible to that it had been that long, yet to those around her it seemed that the two year mark was supposed to be some kind of turning point. She honestly wished she could get where everyone else seemed to think she should be when it came to moving on. She wasn’t there though, at least not yet.

Realizing that focusing on the project at hand wasn’t happening right then she slammed her laptop closed and glared blankly at the calender once again. She sometimes wondered if everyone else was right. Was she hanging on too tightly to the past?

Desperate for a distraction from the date she was silently thrilled when her office door swung open and her immediate supervisor Melanie waltzed into her office and flopped down into the chair across from her. Letting out a dramatic sigh as she slumped down.

“Hi Mel, what can I do for you?” Darcy asked amused by her friends display.

“Oh, it’s nothing big,” she waved a dismissive hand through the air and Darcy rolled her eyes. “I really am fine,” she assured her. “Just trying to find someone willing to go out with me tonight.” She told Darcy expectantly.

Darcy couldn’t help but tense up, she wasn’t into the whole bar and club scene anymore. She knew Mel was just doing what she always did, and in her own way just trying to help. To Darcy a loud club surrounded by drunk strangers rubbing up against each other while trying to find a bed buddy for the night was the last thing that could ever make her feel better. 

Noticing her face Mel’s hopeful expression dropped. “Shit, I did it again didn’t I? I’m sorry, sometimes I forget that we don’t see a good time the same way. I just want to help you.”

“I know, and I also know you think that I’m gonna just break down at any random time, but I’m not.” She stared into the older woman’s eyes hoping she would see she wasn’t lying. “I’m okay,” she promised, “not great but I am okay.”

“I hope you know how glad I am to hear that.” She gave Darcy a small smile and stood from her chair, “Oh by the way, I just wanted to let you know that you can have the rest of the week off. I know you requested some time off a few weeks ago and there was no way to give that to you then, but I found someone to help out with your project. Thought you could use a few days.”

“Mel... I promise that I’m...”

“I know you’re okay, but take the days. You haven’t had any time off in well over a year.” She walked through the door and tossed over her shoulder, “We’ll see you next week.”

She really was annoyed that people still thought she needed to be handled like a broken woman, but in a way she was also actually kind of appreciated it. She liked the idea of taking a few days to herself, and Mel was right it had been awhile since she’d had any time off.

Snatching up her laptop she tossed it into her shoulder bag before heading out the door. When she got outside she hailed a cab and instructed the driver to drop her at the corner near her apartment. She paid him then walked to a small convenient store to quickly grab a bottle of cheap wine for when she got home.

Leaving the store she walked the rest of the way to her apartment.

Once Darcy was home she changed into a comfy pair of pajamas and grabbed a glass. She filled the glass to the brim and snuggled into the couch. She drank down her first glass quickly and a second one not much longer after that as she scrolled through her Netflix queue and started an old episode of one of her favorite scifi shows. It was only a single episode and less than an hour later that she started to feel herself drifting off. 

Standing up she shut off the television and made her way to the bedroom. It was barely three minutes after she snuggled into the blankets that she drifted off.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

“Why do you keep doing this to yourself, Baby.”

Darcy glanced around them and realized that they were back on the beach they would have visited on their honeymoon. He stood before her in a comfortable looking set of board shorts, in each hand he held a drink in a coconut shaped cup with a different colored umbrella. He handed her one and she took it excitedly. 

“I missed you.” 

“You missed me so you...” He lifted his empty hand as if he held a bottle in it then brought it to his lips making it seem as if he was chugging from it. “Don’t you realize that you’re hurting yourself.”

She folded her arms around her body as if it would shield her from whatever negative thing he could possibly think of her. Then realized that when it came to this she didn’t care what he thought. This small amount of time with him was worth it. “I won’t apologize.” She stepped toward him and brought a palm up to his cheek, “I would do anything to be here with you... Anything.”

“I hate seeing you do this? You drink half a bottle of wine just so you can have a conversation with a dead man.”

Her eyes shot to his and she couldn’t help but glare. That one hurt, she couldn’t deny it. Yet, her instinct was to defend herself. “Then why won’t you just come to me all the time, not just when I...” she mimicked his motion from moments before.

“Hey, don’t ask me. It’s your subconscious behind the wheel here, I’m just along for the ride.”

“Are you mad at me?” Darcy asked unable to stop herself.

“If I said yes would you stop?”

“Probably not... It’s the only way. I just wanna be here with you. Here in our little paradise.”

“Don’t you understand Darcy?! This isn’t paradise! This is all in here.” He reached up and tapped her forehead.

“Well, I’ll take what I can get.” She stated jutting her chin out in determined defiance, “and you can just forget about me stopping.”

He reached for her and pulled her body to his, “I’m not mad at you.”

The mixture of his words and him holding her close made all of her anger to fade.

“So what should we do this time,” she pulled back and pulled him along behind her. “I think that water skiing was on that bucket list of yours wasn’t it?”

“It is, but honestly all I really want right now is to sit here and hold you.” He motioned with his thumb behind him and she finally noticed a single lounge chair covered by a sheer canopy.

“That sounds perfect.”

Reaching out he grasped her hand in his and she followed closely behind him. When they reached the chair he sat down and leaned back before pulling her into the space between his parted thighs. She grabbed his arms and wrapped them tightly around her. 

“I love you,” he whispered in her ear.

“I love you,” she mumbled against his skin. He was running his fingers through her hair and was lulling her into a peaceful state as he listened to her tell him about what her life had been like since the last time they had seen each other this way.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Darcy jerked awake and her eyes darted all around her. He was gone again. She held back a frustrated growl and fell back against her pillows. Try as she might she was only able to fall asleep after several hours and when she finally did Andrew was no where in sight.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

The next morning Darcy woke up at her normal time but instead of getting ready for work she quickly showered and she dressed for a trip to visit Andrew’s grave. She walked to a nearby florist to grab a bouquet of white lilies before hailing a cab and giving the driver the address to the cemetery. 

When she finally reached his headstone she placed the flowers in front of it. “Hi Drew,” She sat down beside him and began to trace the letters of his name. “I did it again last night, and I know you would yell at me. Hell even there you yelled at me, but I can’t help it. Seeing you even if it is just some alcohol fueled vision is what’s been keeping me sane.”

As she started telling him about everything that had been happening in her life over the last few weeks. She so badly wished she could touch him for real, to hold him and kiss him, “it’s not fair, you know?” She pulled her hand back moved her head forward until her forehead rested against the cool marble. “I just miss you so much.”

Darcy spent nearly an hour talking to him and finally when she had filled him in a everything she stood up, brushed a kiss to her fingertips and then placed them on the headstone once more.

When she got back home she quickly changed into her comfy clothes once more and settled back on to the couch. She’d been there for less then an hour when she heard a small thud from the direction of her front door. She stood from the couch and walked toward the noise, noting a large manila envelope with her name in bold block letters across the front of it.

Lifting it up she studied it carefully. Her initial instinct was to just throw it away but something told her not to. That she needed to see what was inside. 

She walked over to her desk and picked up a pair of scissors. Moving back to the couch she sat down and with a quick snip the package was open. She spilled the contents on to the coffee table. A single flash drive fell out. 

Eyeing the small piece of plastic warily Darcy had a sinking feeling form in her gut. Something inside her knew that this tiny drive was her very own Pandora’s Box, and that the moment she saw what was on it her life was going to completely change.

Unable to resist for another second she walked back to her desk with the flash drive in hand and popped it into her laptop. It only took a few moments for an icon to appear. 

As soon as she clicked it she felt her stomach begin to roll. It was a video of someone in a chair that resembled some kind of archaic dentist’s chair. The man was strapped down and had a black hood over his head. She stared open mouthed at the sight before her. She watched as a man dressed all in black walked onto the screen. He ripped the hood from the prisoners head as he yelled at him in German. 

Suddenly the little control she had over her stomach fell away. She ran into the kitchen and heaved repeatedly into the sink. Once she was finished and cleaned up she moved back into the living room and looked at the video once again. She was just in time to see the man who was standing begin punching his hostage in the face over and over again. Try as she might she just couldn’t look away, because the man being held captive was not just some prisoner. He was also her dead fiance and if the time stamp on the video was right it was only three days before she had received the news that he had died in that plane crash. 

She was at a loss and had no idea what to do. What was this? What had really happened to the man she loved. Her mind was racing and she was completely confused about what this video even meant it wasn’t until she saw a familiar skull logo take over the screen that she realized that there was only one place to get the answers she needed. 

Yanking the drive from her laptop she shoved it in her pocket. Then she slipped on her shoes and headed for the front door her phone already in hand.

“Darcy?” 

“Jane, I need you to get me in to see Tony Stark, right now.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Darcy stalked her way down the busy sidewalk. It had taken her several minutes and the promise to meet with her first to get Jane to agree to help her get an unscheduled meeting with Tony Stark. 

Finally reaching a small cafe just a half a block from Stark Tower she glanced around outside looking for Jane then decided to look and see if the other woman had already arrived. 

The small bell jangled above her when she yanked the door open pulling the attention of several patrons to her. She glanced around the crowd at the nameless faces until her eyes landed on Jane sitting on a stool by the counter. Darcy made her way over to her friend and stood beside the counter.

“You wanna sit?” Jane offered gesturing to the stool beside her.

“No, I don’t. I want you to talk to someone and get me into that building.” Darcy jutted her thumb behind her.

“Just calm down Darcy.” She pulled the stool out slightly and motioned toward it a second time. “Please sit with me, have a cup of coffee, and tell me what’s going on with you?” 

Darcy glanced at all the people around them and then jerked her head to the corner booth. This needed to be discussed in as much privacy as possible. She had no idea if she was being watched by whoever had left her the flash drive, but she wasn’t taking any chances. She turned on her heel and made her way over to the booth trusting Jane to follow behind her.

Darcy pulled the thumb drive from her pocket and slammed it to the table as Jane slid in across from her.

“What is it?” she eyed the tiny object nervously.

“It’s a video...” She clenched her fists. “a video of what really happened... To Andrew.”

Jane’s eyes shot to her in disbelief, “Darcy... Andrew died in a plane crash. You know that. ”

“I know that’s what everyone was told, and I know that if I were in your shoes right now I probably wouldn’t know what the hell to think either, but I promise you,” she lifted it between two fingers, “this is the truth.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Tony Stark strutted into the room, every bit the same confident man she had seen her TV screen time and time again over the years. 

“Dr. Foster, how can I help you?” he asked his tone and demeanor showing no signs of the familiarity she knew the pair shared. He seemed completely impersonal and professional.

Darcy watched Tony closely and realized that maybe he wasn’t exactly the same after all. She’d always heard that Tony Stark was a quick witted and playful man, yet as he stood before them he seemed unlikely to be the same man from the stories Jane had told her. 

He seemed colder and sadder then she’d imagined, and if she’d have to she’d guess it probably had something to do with the obvious rift between him and most of his former team mates. She knew he still had people he was close to, but after such a public disbandment of his team and so many of the Avengers and their allies had siding with Captain America over Iron Man it seemed as though the man before her may never recover. It was also possible that his relationship with Steve Rogers wouldn’t either, and that just wouldn’t work for her. 

She believed that the best way to get justice for Andrew would require the two men working together.

“This is Darcy Lewis,” Jane offered gesturing toward her.

“Right, Lewis, I’ve heard about you.”

Darcy arched her eyebrows in disbelief.

“You don’t have your taser on you by any chance do you?” There was a teasing twinkle in his eye, and for a second she actually could see that playful guy from those stories. Maybe he wasn’t as shut down as she’d originally thought.

“You use completely legal and reasonable force against one Norse God and you never live it down,” Darcy grumbled. “No taser today,” She promised, “but I did bring this.” She tossed the thumb drive to him without warning and Tony caught it easily and immediately pushed it into a USB port she hadn’t even noticed that was built into his desk.

Instantly the large monitors all around the room filled with the video she had seen earlier. 

Tony stood stoic and silent as the video played out before him. He made it much farther then she had earlier. Darcy refused to watch but she couldn’t ignore the sounds, and if it weren’t for Jane’s comforting hand wrapped tightly around hers she was certain she would pass out from the noises erupting from Andrew as he was tortured on screen. 

She could hear every punch. 

Every whip.

Worst of all though was the slicing sounds she heard last. She refused to look up but if the way Jane’s hand tightened and the cries pouring from the man she loved was any indication she could only imagine what was being done to him. 

Sensing her discomfort Tony suddenly switched the video off, “What the fu... What is this?” He demanded.

“His name was Andrew Miller.” She took a deep breath and Jane urged her to continue, “he was a photojournalist until he died two years ago in what his family and I were told was a plane crash.” She looked up, “but obviously we were misinformed.”

“How did you even get this?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It was delivered to my front door earlier today.”

“Who delivered it?”

“I don’t know, someone slid it under the door.”

“Why you?” He questioned, though she was certain he already knew the answer and just wanted a confirmation from her.

Her finger went instinctively to the ring on her left hand, “We were going to be married.”

Clearing his throat Tony stared down at the broken young woman before him, “What do you need from me?”

Steeling herself she met his eyes full on, “not just from you. You saw the red skull, so you know who’s involved. That means we’re going to need someone who knows a lot about Hydra and how to stop them.”

Tony tensed knowing what she was getting at. He swallowed heavily, “well in case you’ve missed the news lately the two of us aren’t exactly on the best of terms right now.” 

“I’m aware, and honestly if I had any other option I wouldn’t be asking this of you, but this is Hydra and it’s going to take more then just you to find them and the truth.” She looked up at him apologetically, “please don’t be offended.”

“No offense taken, but is that really all you want, just to find out the truth?”

“No, what I want is for them all to pay. I want all of them gone.” She admitted.

“Darcy,” Jane gasped at the cold tone in her friend’s voice.

“What,” Darcy snapped, “Didn’t you see it?! What they did to him? What his last moments were like?”

“I understand that you...”

“You can’t possibly understand.”

“But I do,” Tony interrupted, “I watched a video very similar to this and saw my parents death. I saw them murdered by someone who half my old team now protects.” His words came out bitter and wounded.

“If you can’t help me...”

“I never said I can’t help you, I can and I will.” He walked around his desk and sat on the edge looking at her meaningfully, “I hope you know that no matter how impossible it seems you can and will get past this.”

“I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.”

“I know, but you will.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

After their meeting Tony had asked Darcy and Jane to stay put and he’d be back. It was nearly an hour later when anyone came back and this time it wasn’t him but instead his other half. Pepper walked in and if the look on her face was any indication she already knew all there was to know about why they were there.

“Tony and I have talked and he’s currently doing what he can to get a hold of anyone who can help. In the meantime we think it would be best if you stay in the building. We can provide you with a suite to stay in as well as anything else you may need until we can take off?”

“Take off to where?”

“You said you needed more than just Tony,” she answered simply, “we agree.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m posting this now since I probably won’t have any free time this weekend. Next post will probably be on Tuesday. Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to leave kudos and especially for those who have left comments. Your feedback is helping keep me motivated. :)
> 
> NO BETA -- So all mistakes are mine.

Darcy stared out at the ocean before them. The once crisp blue sea was now nearly black. The truth about what had actually torn them apart was ebbing it’s way into their beautiful paradise. Darkening it, making it so even as he stood beside her the entire place was less bright... less comforting... just less. 

“How are we here?” she questioned.

“I’m not sure,” he answered, “I guess you just really needed to see me”

“I guess,” she told him, though she was sure that wasn’t the case, at least not in the literal sense of seeing him, considering she couldn’t bring herself to even glance his way. She just felt too guilty. Guilty that she hadn’t even known what he had suffered through in his last days.“I wish I had known.”

“What would that have changed?” He asked his tone genuinely curious.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, “but if nothing else maybe you could have actually gotten justice for what was done to you.”

“What kind of justice are we talking about here Darcy, the kind where you go to Tony Stark to have him help you get rid of them.” He was upset with her, she didn’t need to look at him to know that.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to eavesdrop on private conversations?”

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to have a conversation with someone and not look at them?

Rolling her eyes she turned to him but before she could speak her hand flew to her mouth. His handsome face was battered and bruised. 

“What’s wrong?” He moved toward her and reached his bloody hand toward her face, but before he could touch her she stepped back. “Darcy?” Her name came out in a strangled gag as blood began to spill from between his lips. 

He fell to his knees before her and bent forward bracing himself on his hands as he continued coughing up dark blood and saturating the white sand of the beach. She cried out his name as she fell to the ground beside him and placed her hand to his shoulder which only led to another violet round of coughing. 

Finally he collapsed completely and the air around her became silent. She shook him over and over crying out his name...

She jerked awake and stared up into Jane’s worried eyes. Darcy cleared her throat and sat up straight in her seat, “Are we there?”

“Seriously? You were crying in your sleep and you’re shaking Darcy.”

“It was just a bad dream,” She brought her hand to a cheek and found that Jane was right it was damp with partially dried tears.

“You know the past couple of days would be a lot for anyone to handle, no one could blame you for having some trouble dealing with it all.” She reached out and placed a hand to Darcy’s knee, “just know I’m here if you decide that you wanna talk.”

Darcy knew Jane was just trying to be there for her, so she ignored her first instinct to snap at her friend, to tell her that she was fine and didn’t need to be babied and instead just gave her what she hoped would come across as a grateful smile and a nod. She turned from Jane and stared out the plane window silently hoping she wouldn’t fall back asleep and back into that awful dream.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Steve stared blankly at his phone for a long moment after ending his call then placed it on the wooden bench beside him. He stood and slowly headed back to the punching bag in the middle of the room.

“You okay?” Bucky asked as he moved behind the bag and held onto it tightly and Steve began to punch it harder then before.

“I’m fine.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Bucky lifted his hands from the bag stepped to the side. It was on Steve’s very next swing that it went flying across the room, “oh yeah, you’re fine.” He rolled his eyes and folded his arm in front of him, “you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“That was Stark,” he answered as he moved on to the double end bag and started pummeling that one as well.

“And?”

His movements didn’t hesitate for a moment. “He says he needs my help. Well actually, he was calling for someone else who needs help.”

“Who?”

“Not sure he’s sending me a file he wants me to look at, says he needs to know if I’m in or not by tonight.”

As if on cue his phone chimed and alerted him to a new message, he walked back over to the bench and snatched it up. With a quick swipe he opened the file he stared blankly at the picture of the young woman in front of him. He jerked his head suddenly at Bucky’s low whistle, “Who’s the dame?”

“Not sure, she looks familiar, but I just can’t place...” He continued swiping through pages on the file as he skimmed over the details, “Damn.”

“What?”

“I know her... Well sort of. Her name is Darcy Lewis. She used to work for Jane Foster.”

Bucky stared st him blankly.

“Jane foster is... She’s with Thor.”

Bucky snatched his phone and moved his finger over the screen repeatedly until he was back at Darcy’s picture, “How is it possible that you met this girl and didn’t remember her right away.”

“That’s the thing, I never actually met her. By the time I met Jane she didn’t work for her anymore. She’d moved to DC and was working for some politician.”

“Well, I say go lend a hand. She’s a beaut, and hey maybe she’ll be grateful to the good old Cap for coming to her rescue.” He wiggled his eyes suggestively and as nice as it was for Steve to see pieces of his old friend’s playfulness shining through now wasn’t the time.

Steve snatched his phone back and glared at him. “I’m not sure about all the details. All these records Tony sent me are superficial. I can tell it has that it has something to do with her...” He swiped again, “the death of someone named Andrew Miller and how Hydra may be connected...” He blacked out his screen and clutched it tightly.

Bucky’s grin instantly fell away, “shit.”

“Exactly.”

“Well when do we leave?”

Steve looked at him pointedly, “you know you can’t come.” he said plainly.

“I do,” he admitted with a solemn nod, “I do wish I could help though... If for no other reason then...” he pointed at Steve’s phone and wiggled his brows again, “well did you see the lips on that girl?”

Steve rolled his eyes and shoved his friend away, “cut it out.” He turned toward the door then back again, “you’ll be okay with me gone, right?”

“I’m good, man.”

Steve nodded once then moved back toward the door.

“Hey Punk?”

“Yeah?”

“If you end up needing me... I’ll be there.”

“Thanks Buck.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*# 

 

Since heading back to the states was impossible and staying under the radar was mandatory for Captain America Steve found himself forced to crisscross across the globe before heading to his final destination. When he had finally landed and stepped off the plane he was glad to finally be there. 

Wakanda.

It was decided by the Black Panther that since the team had been divided by the accords his country would be neutral territory, He’d even gone so far as to allow a much smaller version of the Avenger’s tower to be built here. 

“Captain?” 

He turned and smiled when he saw his welcoming committee, “Your Majesty,” he greeted extending his hand.

“T’Challa,” he corrected shaking Steve’s hand.

“T’Challa.” Steve reached down and picked up his bag, “has anyone else arrived yet?”

 

“Yes, The Quinjet jet arrived a few hours ago. I had Tony and the young ladies taken to the compound.”

“Ladies?”

“Yes, a Miss Lewis and Dr. Foster.”

“Right, I wasn’t really expecting them to be here, but I guess since Miss Lewis is the one in need of our help it makes sense.”

“Well based on what I’ve seen there was no way Miss Lewis was staying away while Mr. Stark and the others are handling this, and Dr. Foster seems hesitant to leave her side.” He glanced around them and then back at the Captains one small bag, “Is that all you’ve brought?”

“I travel light.”

“I can see that,” he agreed with a quick nod, “come, the transport is this way.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

“Darcy, maybe it would be best if you left for this part?” Tony suggested as he prepared to start the video.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Darce...”

“Jane stop! This is important.” 

“Tony’s going to need to show the Captain the whole video.”

“I know.”

“Then why would you...”

“Jane!” she took a deep breath and calmed herself, “Look I appreciate that you’re worried about me but this is something I need to be involved in. I have to help,” She looked into her friend’s eyes begging for her to understand. “What if it was Thor?”

“Okay, you’re right. I just want to make sure you’re able to handle what you’re about to see.”

“I’ve seen in twice already Jane!” She snapped as she finally lost control, “I’ll be fine!”

“Excuse me...” A hesitant voice called from the doorway.

Both women stopped staring each other down and turned his way.

“I’m Steve... Rogers. Tony sent for me?”

“Is that a question stars and stripes?” Tony asked, his voice showing less play fullness then bitterness as he appeared behind him.

“Tony. It’s good to see you.”

“Welcome,” he offered ignoring Steve’s attempts at pleasantries. “If you come on in we can get started.”

Steve walked into the room and found his way into the far end seat. “So why did you send for me Tony because, and correct me if I’m wrong, but you hardly seem thrilled to have me here.”

“How right you are, and if it were up to me I wouldn’t have bothered you, but the lady,” he motioned to Darcy, “thinks that the two of us working together is ideal for handling this situation.”

“And what exactly is the situation?”

“This is about the murder of one Andrew Miller...”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*# 

 

Steve made his way down the long corridor to his room. He knew now that even if he hadn’t already decided to help Miss Lewis then thirty seconds of that video would have made the decision for him. It wasn’t just the video though, it was also the woman herself. It was impossible to not want to help her when he watched heartbreaking sadness in Darcy’s eyes as she watched the man she loved being tortured on screen. 

Tony had stopped the video before the end but Steve had no doubt how it ended. For some reason some sick bastard had decided to send some kind of snuff video to the fiancee of the man in the film. The question was why and just as importantly why now?

When he dropped his bag in his room he heard a small sniffle coming from the room on the other side of the wall and while a huge part of him thought it might be best to leave her be he felt an inexplicable draw to her and to giving her some kind of comfort.

He exited his room and moved to her door, he knocked gently so he didn’t startle her. It took her a moment to answer and when she did he knew that he had heard what he thought he had. Her eyes were red and puffy and there were light smudges of black all around her eyes.

“Captain Rogers?” Her hands went to her cheeks and she quickly wiped any stray tears away, “ I am so sorry, I didn’t disturb you did I?”

“No... You didn’t... I mean I heard you but it didn’t bother... Not that I liked hearing you...” he couldn’t believe he was reacting to her this way. He steeled himself and started again. “No you didn’t disturb me, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know that had to have been difficult to watch.”

“You’d think after having to sit through it twice already I’d be able to handle it better, but honestly it gets worse each time.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“You’re already doing it.” She pulled her arms around herself and gave him a forced and hollow smile, “I can’t thank you enough for being here. I know it wasn’t exactly ideal for you and Tony to work together again, but you are the most knowledgeable about the way this organization works.”

“I hope I’m as much of I help as you think I’ll be.” 

“I have no doubt you will be Captain.”

“Steve.”

“What?”

“You can call me Steve... Darcy.”

She smiled at him and given the way she strained against it he got the feeling that it might be the closest to a real one she’d given someone in awhile. He hated that what he was about to say might take that smile away from her but he needed her to know, “I know what it feels like you know... The loss and anger... the desire to get revenge for everything that’s been taken from you.” Her smile did fade, but she didn’t look sad again she actually looked curious about what he would say next. “Just know that if you ever need someone who understands, someone you can just sit and talk to. I’m here, literally,” he told her pointing to the door beside hers. 

The curious look on her face turned slightly confused before she gave him a weak smile and a nod, “thank you Steve.”

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

Somehow she was with him again. The second time in just as many days and there wasn’t a drop of alcohol in her system to lubricate her dreams. 

They were on their beach again and the water was back to it’s clear blue, the sand back in it’s pristine condition. With everything back to the way it should be and the two of them together again she could almost forget the terror of her last time with him. They were laid out side by side on huge beach blanket their hand clasped together.

“He seems nice,” Andrew told her suddenly as he drew the tips of his fingers up and down the length of hers. 

“Who?” She asked turning her face toward his.

He locked eyes with her in a silent dare to continue pretending she didn’t know. “It’s okay you know. You’re allowed to start moving on.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” She demanded as she shot up into a sitting position and stared down at him horrified.

“Don’t get mad.”

“Oh, if you’re trying to imply what I think you are then you can bet your ass I’m mad.”

“I’m not implying anything. I’m just saying that if you want to get to know someone else you can. It’s not wrong to start living your life again.”

“I don’t... Okay, I can’t even begin to understand what your trying to do right now., but believe me I have absolutely no interest in him I mean I’ve met the guy once, so please just stop already.”

“Yet you knew exactly who and what I was talking about,” he pointed out his eyes slightly sad.

Darcy suddenly jerked awake and stared around the empty room. “What the hell just happened?” She muttered Where was he? Why did he say all those things? Why would he think that after one meeting she would even want... Growling in frustration she threw herself back against her pillows and willed herself to go back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Steve is here! Thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm late on this one, but I have written and rewritten this chapter three times now, hopefully y'all like it.
> 
> No Beta, so all mistakes or mine.

CHAPTER 4...

 

In the few days that she and Jane had been in Wakanda, Darcy had begun to feel frustrated with how little progress they made in their investigation. She understood why, at least to an extent. This wasn’t an emergent situation, so they had time to research and make sure that when the time came they had as much information as possible, as well as the ideal team.

The day after Steve Rogers had arrived Tony had called everyone in and informed them that he thought it might be better if they called in another set of hands to help. Darcy thought the decision was mainly due to Tony’s desire not to work alone with Steve. That and he wanted someone involved that he still trusted, not that she was going to point that out. Instead she simply agreed that the extra help couldn’t hurt. Tony had gotten in touch with Natasha Romanoff that very day and she’d agreed to help without much prompting. She’d simply needed a few days to finish up whatever mission she was currently involved in and then said she would meet them. She was likely to arrive that day.

Until Black Widow got there Darcy decided to busy herself with research, what was beginning to feel like mindless and useless research, but at least she hadn’t been alone. Jane had sat across from her for hours also delving through countless digital files, and Steve had come by on several occasions to lend a hand. Even Tony had kept her company one afternoon, though she believed that was partly because he was trying to learn more about her. 

Darcy stared down at the dimly lit screen and growled lightly as her eyes began to ache and the words started to blur. “My eyes are exhausted, and all these words are starting to run together.” She slammed her tablet down and shoved it away. “I feel like we’re just wasting time.”

“We’re not,” Jane assured her, “It’s important to be well informed on your enemies. Especially if your still planning on tagging along on this mission.”

“Don’t do that,” she snapped, “don’t say things like ‘ tag along ’. I’m not stupid Jane, and I’m not a child.” She glared at her friend. “This isn’t a game to me.”

Jane nodded solemnly, “You’re right.” she mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

“Shit,” she was so tense she was taking her stress out on her friend, on the woman who had traveled half a world away from her work and home just to help her. Darcy slumped back in her chair. Treating Jane like crap was definitely another thing to add to the list of things she already felt guilty about. “No, I’m sorry Jane.” The tiny woman looked up at her and Darcy continued, “I’m a mess and there’s just so much you still don’t know about.”

“Like what?”

“I can’t tell you.” How could she tell Jane. If the older woman found out that she had been spending her nights having alcohol induced dreams of her dead fiance she’d think Darcy was losing her mind.

“Why can’t you tell me?” She dropped her tablet down and turned toward her. Crisscrossing her legs in front of her she leaned forward and stared at Darcy, her eyes determined, “I’m your friend Darcy and whenever you’ve needed me I’ve been here, so let me be there for you now.”

Turning to her friend she mirrored her position and met her gaze warily, “You’ll never believe me.” 

“Try me.”

So she told her. First about the dreams, about when they had started and what brought them on. Then how after she’d seen that video they’d happened on their own, twice now. That she had just fallen asleep and there he’d been. How once that had happened they had turned darker, and finally about the dream she’d had almost a week ago where Drew had told her it was okay if she was ready to move on from him and their life together. “I’m losing him Jane.” She told her friend, letting the fear that had crept over her after that last dream out.

“Darcy you know those dreams aren’t really him, you just told me that yourself.”

“Maybe not, but they were all I had left. I would sleep and he would be there. Sometimes we’d do the things regular couple do, like dinner dates and walks in the park. Sometimes we would cross items off his stupid bucket list, and sometimes we’d just sit and talk.” She stood up and walked across the room to the window, “then the night we came here he was just... there. I nodded off and he was waiting for me, it was different though, it was like he was saying goodbye to me.” 

“Darcy, this whole time... I had no idea how bad things were for you, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I just wasn’t ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“To let go. To not see him anymore.”

“I can’t believe you’ve been dealing with this all on your own,” Jane shook her head in disbelief.

“So, now that you know everything, do you think I’m a complete whack a do?”

“Of course not.”

“How can you possibly think that I haven’t lost it? I basically self medicate so I can dream about a dead man.” She brought her fingertips to her temples and rubbed them firmly for several seconds. “Hell, even I think I’m crazy.”

“Well, I can’t stop you from thinking that,” she leaned over the center of the couch and pulled Darcy’s hands from the sides of her head, “but I can tell you that I think you’re perfectly sane.”

“How can you be sure?” She honestly questioned it herself.

“Because you know that it’s your mind that brings these dreams on, that it isn’t some divine intervention bringing you two together.”

“I do,” she agreed with a definitive nod. 

“That’s how I’m sure. You haven’t lost your mind Darcy, but you did lose someone you love.” Jane gripped her friends hands tightly, “and if you ask me there’s nothing more normal or sane then wanting to see them again.”

Darcy felt a wave of relief at her friends words. She hadn’t known how much she’d needed to talk to someone or how much just getting the truth out there would comfort her, “Thank you Jane.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

They picked back up their tablets intent on getting back to work but it was only minutes later that Jane’s phone chimed. With a quick glance she smiled at Darcy, “the carvery just arrived.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

“And this was sent to the victims fiancee two years after of his death?” Natasha questioned. Holding up the tiny drive and studying it closely.

“Yes.”

“So are we just going to ignore how suspicious all this is?” she tossed the drive onto the table in front of her. “Think about it, this woman is someone who has a connection to us. Not a very close connection, but still. It’s not a stretch to assume that this happened to her and her fiance because of that.”

“If it was about us then why wait two years?”

“Who knows, I’m simply stating facts. This whole thing is highly suspect.”

“I understand why you feel that way,” a strong feminine voice stated from the doorway, “and if you don’t want to get involved in this I’ll understand... but he was a good man, and if by some small chance it does have to do with my connection to Thor and by extension my connection to the Avengers as a whole, doesn’t that mean he deserves for you to help bring those who hurt him to justice all the more?”

The Black Widow stared at the young woman before her for several minutes in silence . She was clearly suffering, that pain she felt was only over powered by her obvious determination to find out who had hurt someone she cared deeply for. “How was the drive given to you?” She asked suddenly.

Natasha watched as Darcy walked over to Tony and grabbed a manila envelope from him, “It was slid under my front door in that.” She dropped it in front of Natasha and the red head studied it closely eyeing the plain block lettering. “No fingerprints I’m assuming?” She asked looking to Stark.

“Wouldn’t that have been nice.. But no.”

Of course not, “video surveillance of the area surrounding her apartment from the time of the drop?”

“Well that’s where things get really interesting... The day the package was delivered to Darcy’s apartment there was a complete CCTV blackout. Someone was able to knock out any chance of catching who left it on camera.”

“Okay, so we have no fingerprints and no video footage...” she turned to the younger woman, “What had you done earlier that day? Did you go anywhere... Visit anyone?”

Darcy took a deep breath and sat in one of the nearby chairs, “I only went to the cemetery.”

“Was this a planned thing for you? Something that could be easily tracked?

Darcy shook her head, “no, normally I would’ve been at work but my boss gave me some unexpected time off.”

“Which cemetery did you go to?”

“Holy Cross... It’s in Brooklyn.”

“Tony can you bring up footage from the cemetery...” She looked back at Darcy, “what time were you there?”

“Around 11?”

“Okay, so footage from starting around 10:30.” Images popped up from several surveillance cameras around the cemetery, and Natasha leaned forward watching each video closely.

“He’s buried by that big oak in the corner.” Darcy told her pointing to one of the center images.

“Zoom in on that one and start fast forwarding.” Natasha ordered.

“Yes Mistress,” Tony mocked.

They watched for less than a minute before she saw Darcy walking quickly across the screen, “Stop... right there.”

The video slowed back down and they watched as Darcy set down the flowers she had brought that day. She curled up next to his tombstone and lovingly ran her fingers over the headstone. Natasha watched not just Darcy, but more importantly the area surrounding her. “Wait, stop there,” the video froze and Natasha stood from her chair and moved closer to the picture. She leaned over the table and pointed to the far corner. “Look, three rows back, by the fence.” There stood a man all in black his eyes covered with dark glasses and the rest of his face hidden under the shadow of his hat.

“I didn’t see him there,” Darcy muttered.

The video moved forward again and they watched as the figure followed her from the cemetery.

“We should bring up anything we can find of her making her way home.” Natasha suggested. Several more videos popped up around the original and flipped from one camera recording to another, at all different angles.

“Damn...”

Natasha turned to her and gave her a knowing look. “It’s amazing how much you’re watched and don’t even realize it, huh?”

Suddenly when Darcy was less then a block from her apartment the screens all went black.

“And that’s when we hit radio silence... or video silence,” Tony told her.

“How long were they out?”

“Hold on...” The video’s moved along in complete blackness but suddenly the cameras began working again, just in time to catch Darcy rushing down the street in the same direction she had come from in the previous video.

“So it was down just long enough...”

“To prevent there from being any evidence that whoever was following you was in your building,” Natasha finished for her.

Natasha stared at the screen with an unreadable expression on her face.

“So, are you in?” Tony asked as he hit a button on his phone and all the screens disappeared.

“Yes,” She answered plainly, “I’ll get in touch with Clint, but I think we should only bring him in if completely necessary, Laura is understanding, but it might be better to leave him out of this if we can.”

“I agree.”

“Who else are you thinking of bringing in for this?” Natasha wondered.

“Since we don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with, I just contacted you for now.” He answered. 

“And me,” announced an annoyed voice from the doorway.

“Well this is surprising,” Natasha eyed Steve as he walked into the room. 

“Is there a reason you didn’t let me know Nat was here?” He demanded staring Tony down.

“Just filling her in Cap, did you need something?”

“For starters, it would be nice to be kept in the loop.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are your feelings hurt?”

Steve’s jaw clenched tightly, “not the time Stark.”

“You’re right it’s not the time, and maybe you should remember that before you decide to storm in here. It’s just a debrief and we’ll be happy to show you anything we went over here.”

“Look, I’ve had just about enough of...”

“Enough?!” Darcy yelled standing from the table and slamming her palms into it. “You’ve had enough?!” Darcy stared at them as the two men stared each other down. “This is ridiculous. I came to you for help,” she told Tony, “and I asked you to bring Captain Rogers in because I thought the two of you would accomplish more together... I was wrong. I never should have come to you...” she turned to Steve, “to either of you.” Pushing away from the table Darcy turned on her heel and stormed from the room.

Jane glared at the pair, “Please fix whatever problems you two have with each other so you can help my friend.”

When it was just the three of them left Natasha looked at the two of them, shook her head in disbelief and followed the other women from the room without a word.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

“I don’t know how this can work,” Darcy told her as she stared out the window of her room. She turned to Jane, “did you see them? They can’t even be in the same room together... and if they can’t even investigate and plan together how are they going to work together out in the field?”

“They’ll get there Darce.”

“How can you think that?” She demanded. Her annoyance with them flowing over, “did you even see them? They were sniping at each other like children.” She clenched her fists. “These are our world’s best defenders... our heroes... and they can’t even...” she slammed her eyes shut and tried to slow her breathing. 

Jane stared at her, “Okay, I know you’re upset, but this,” she motioned up and down Darcy’s form, “ this is more than that. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

She took a deep breath and swallowed heavily as she fell to the couch, “I didn’t know Jane, I was so caught up in my own grief and pain that I just believed what I was told, how could I do that?” She reached up gripping her hair tightly, “and what if me not realizing the truth stops him getting justice.”

Jane sat beside her and reached out and pulled her hands from her hair and placed a hand on her shoulder, “Darcy you couldn’t have known, it’s not your fault, it was a completely believable story.”

She gently shrugged her friends hand off and sat up, “and if Natasha is right, if he was killed because of his connection to me and my connection to all of this,” she waved her hand around.

“You weren’t a part of this anymore. You couldn’t have known...”

“You’re right, I couldn’t have, but maybe I was naive to believe that I could ever have a normal life after New Mexico.”

“Darcy...”

Two soft raps on the door frame startled both the girls and they turned to find Steve standing there and watching them.

“Captain Rogers.” Jane welcomed him with a hesitant look at Darcy.

“Jane, is it okay if I have a few minutes with Darcy?”

Jane looked to her friend, but didn’t move until Darcy gave her a small nod.

“Sure, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Darcy watched as she passed by Steve she sent him a look that told him to fix this, and fix it now.

When she left she pulled the door closed behind her.

“I’m sorry.”

She looked up at him shocked, “did you just apologize to me?”

He sat down beside her and gazed at her apologetically, “I didn’t handle things with Tony well at all.”

“Maybe you should try apologizing to him instead.” she suggested. “Those two little words can go far when mending things between friends.”

“Sometimes it isn’t enough.”

She reached out and placed a hand to his knee. She didn’t know why but a part of her wanted offer comfort to him even if only a little, “you’d be surprised. Besides you two need to work together, I need you both. For Andrew.”

“Speaking of,” Darcy tensed but he continued, “when I was coming this way I heard you and Jane talking.”

“You listened in on a private conversation?”

“It wasn’t intentional,” he promised.

“What we talked about was personal Steve.”

“I know and I don’t want to upset you, but...” He looked at her uncertainly.

“But what?

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened, it’s not your fault.”

“I appreciate you saying that, but I don’t want to talk about this, at least not right now.”

“Fair enough,” Steve relented, “but if there’s anything I can do for you...”

“Well now that you mention it there is one thing.”

“What’s that?”

She stood from the couch and flung open the door, “Go... Go and make up with Tony, because you two need to fix your relationship if you’ll ever be able to work together again.”

He stared at her blankly and gave her a single nod as he stood. 

When he began to walk through the door Darcy reached out and gripped his forearm, “Thank you Steve.”

“You’re welcome.” he told her as he was walked out the door and she closed it behind him.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Steve did what he could to mentally prepare himself as he walked the short distance from his suite to Tony’s. After he’d left Darcy’s he’d gone back in his room for all of ten minutes before he realized that Darcy had definitely been right about him needing to fix things between him and Stark, the first step being an apology. 

He needed to make things right with his old teammate and not just for this mission but also because he missed his friend.

He could hear Tony talking through the door. He assumed it was Pepper given the softness of his tone. He was happy that they had found their way back to each other. Pepper Potts truly brought out the best in Tony Stark. 

He held back for a few minutes tuning out what exactly Tony was saying to the woman he loved as best he could. He felt bad about listening in on one conversation already today. When things were finally quiet for several minutes he reached up and knocked. Only a second later the door swung open and Tony stared at him clearly confused as to why he was there.

“Can we talk?” Steve asked.

Tony stared at him blankly for a moment then opened the door fully and gestured for him to come in. He sat on the edge of his bed and motioned to a large decorative chair in the corner. Steve sat down slowly and looked at his former friend and teammate trying to find the right words. Ever since the fight they had over Bucky, and the Accords he had been haunted by his actions and Tony’s words to him.

I’m sorry Tony, but he’s my Friend... So was I. 

The way Iron Man’s voice had cracked with obvious betrayal in that moment would most likely stay with him forever. He didn’t know if there was any going back after that but Darcy had been right, he had to try.

“I’m sorry Tony,” He stared down at his hands. “I know that a lot of what happened was unavoidable. The Accords being a large part of that, but the thing with Buck.” He looked up and Tony’s eyes had hardened, “ I want you to know that I didn’t know it was him... not until I saw that video. I knew it wasn’t an accident... that the car crash was a lie, but I justified it as protecting you. That was wrong.” He took a deep breath and readied himself for what he had to say next, “I know you don’t care, and I understand why, but he was brainwashed. He remembers the things he did, but he had no choice when he did them. He is sorry though. More then I think either of us could ever understand.”

Tony stared at him for several minutes and Steve could practically see the wheels in the other man’s head turning as he took in all that he had just told him. Then with a single nod he stood from the bed. “I should fill you in on what you missed earlier.”

Steve watched Tony closely as he began explaining the security footage he and Natasha had found earlier in the day. He knew they weren’t where they had been, truthfully they may never be again. They’d made a step today though and knowing that had lifted a load he hadn’t known he was still carrying.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to newbatgirl for taking time to edit this chapter for me. :)

Natasha once again found herself glaring at the useless screens in front of them, her patience beginning to wane,“So as far as we can tell there was nothing about Andrew Miller that would indicate his abduction and murder had anything to do with him or something he did.”

“Nothing,” Tony agreed clearly frustrated. “It seems like he led a simple life, unless you count all the traveling, but given his profession the excessive travel’s easily explained. Every file on record shows him to be well respected in his field. He also had no criminal record to speak of, unless you count a citation for public intoxication on his twenty-first birthday.”

“Which of course you don’t,” she noted with an eyeroll. “Okay, so he has a clean record, for the most part,” she added pointedly. “He also seems to have been well-respected by those in his personal life as well as others in his field.” Nat couldn’t hold back an exasperated sigh, “There has to be something we’re missing.”

“Unless your first assumption was right,” he offered. “Maybe it wasn’t about him, but actually was about his fiancée’s connection to the team.”

“That was my first thought,” she admitted, “but something just doesn’t add up. I mean, why Darcy Lewis? Aside from her friendship with Jane, and by extension Thor, she hasn’t been involved with any of us in years.”

“Maybe that is why. She had a connection but after not being involved in this life for so long she and the people around her were easy to get to, especially a fiancée who travels all over the world nearly every other week.”

“Speaking of his traveling, have we found any of his flight plans? Most importantly his final trip, Darcy said that his plane crashed on his was back to the states. Have we been able to locate any yet?” 

“That’s the odd thing, there’s no record of any kind of small aircraft flights from Cairo to New York on the date she gave us, or for any of the previous trip dates she gave us. She said that his paper would charter private planes, but there’s nothing.” 

“Okay, so here’s what we know. Andrew Miller has nothing of interest in his files... He was a photojournalist who was sent literally all over the world, though aside from his photos there’s no proof of those assignments. He was said to have died in a private jet crash from Cairo to New York. There was no flight though... So what the hell are we missing?” He walked around the table and glared at the images before him.

“Oh shit...”

“What?”

“We’ve been looking at this all wrong,” Natasha started crossing the room to him. “I can’t believe we didn’t see it before.” She snatched Tony’s phone from his hand and hit a few buttons, “I don’t think what happened to Andrew Miller had anything to do with Darcy or us.” 

“Then what did it have do with?” Tony pressed.

“Think about it, he went from a fairly unknown photographer who took pictures of community center openings and school bake sales for some no-name paper to a globe-trotting photojournalist practically overnight. How does that happen? What’s more how does a guy with virtually no criminal record end up on a major organization like Hydra’s radar?”   
She swiped the screen several times then flicked her wrist making a new picture appear. “That’s how.”

Tony shook his head in disbelief, “Son of a bitch.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Steve knocked on her door several times before she finally answered. He bit the inside of his lips to keep from laughing out loud. She wore a too big, pink fuzzy robe with a pair of pig-shaped slippers in the same color. Her hair was wrapped tightly in a white towel.

“Hi,” He started quickly, worried she might ask him to leave like she had the night before, “Listen, about yesterday... I just want you to know that...”

“I’m sorry,” she interrupted before he could finish..

Wait... what, “Excuse me?”

She opened her door further and waved him in. Closing it behind him, she lead him to the couch. As soon as he sat down she started again, “I’m sorry,” she repeated, “I guess Drew will always be a bit of a sensitive subject for me, but I know you were just trying to help.” 

She stood and started pacing back and forth trying to gather her thoughts, “I guess what really bothers me is that I know you and Jane are right, at least here,” she pointed to her head, “but there’s a part of me that just can’t shake the feeling that I’m responsible.” The towel around her head had started to fall and she snatched it off in frustration. She tossed it aside and flopped back down next to him. 

Steve noticed her robe had shifted and he found himself drawn to the now slightly exposed flesh of her inner thigh. He felt a sudden urge to graze a single knuckle over it. The thought startled him and he dug his fingertips into his knee to stop himself.

She was beautiful, he’d noticed that about her immediately, but the draw he was feeling to Darcy wasn’t something he’d felt in a long time. In many decades if he was being completely honest, but he needed to push whatever he was starting to feel away. She needed a friend right now.

“You know, about a year ago people started trying to convince me that it was time to move on, to start living again,” she lifted her fingers in quotation mark gestures. “I used to resent them when they’d say that, like just because I didn’t want to go out every weekend and date random guys that meant that I wasn’t really living.”

“And now?”

“Now I realize that they may have been right.” 

He began to argue with her but she lifted her hand to stop him, “I saw it, in that video from the cemetery, I never saw myself as broken until I watched that.” Her eyes darted to his and she smiled sadly, “I want to, you know...” she began softly.

He cleared his throat and forced himself to maintain eye contact and not let his eyes drift back down to her legs, “Want to what?”

“Live again,” she admitted. “The woman you saw in that video is not me, at least it’s not who I was. I used to be happy, silly even. I just feel like I’m not myself anymore and I really wanna be, you know?”

“Yeah, I do.” 

“You know a lot of people claim they understand what I feel, but you I actually believe.” She sent him a supportive smile, “How did you get through it, waking up and finding out everyone you cared about was...” She cringed at her wording, “I’m sorry that sounded better in my head.”

“It’s fine, um... Peggy and Bucky were definitely the hardest. He was my best friend, my brother really, and Peggy...”

“You loved her.” 

“I did.”

“Does it get better?”

“It takes a while... You’ll make mistakes.”

She chuckled but it was without humor, “Like drinking myself silly several times a week because my drunken mind creates visions of him?”

“Or starting a relationship with someone just because they were connected and it made you feel closer to them.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Who was she?”

“Her niece. She’s nice, smart, and even beautiful. There were these times when Sharon’s eyes were just like her aunts. They held that same strength and fire that I loved most about Peggy, and I thought that maybe... but I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“She’s the one you should feel sorry for. In trying to help myself I hurt her. Badly, I think. Peggy would hate me for that.”

“I doubt that anyone who has ever known you could hate you, Steve.”

“That’s nicer than I deserve.”

“Somehow I doubt that.” 

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

“You’re wrong.” She glared at the pair ,her eyes fierce and her chin jutted out in defiance.

“I’m afraid it’s true, Darcy.” Tony assured her, his voice sympathetic and soft.

“How did you even find this information?” she asked him but it was Natasha that answered.

“When I made all of SHIELD’s records public a few years back this was part of that. We hadn’t thought to look there at first, but we should have. When you look into how quickly his career skyrocketed...”

“He was talented,” she interrupted fiercely.

Natasha continued as if she hadn’t spoken, “Add to that the lack of public records of him, aside from his articles, the near-constant traveling, plus that there are no flight logs on file that match any of the dates you said he was gone on assignments... It just didn’t add up.”

“I can’t believe this.” Darcy stared at the hovering picture of her dead fiance, but it wasn’t just any picture. It was a passport photo of Drew, but not. His hair was lighter his eyes dark brown instead of their normal light blue. There was only one explanation: he was a liar and she was a fool.

Turning on her heel, she left the room without another word.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Darcy stared up the the black sky above her and lifted her flask over her head in a silent toast. She took a large gulp then shuddered and coughed as the liquid burned the whole way down. She was suddenly grateful that each room had a small attached balcony. The fresh air felt amazing on her alcohol-heated skin.

“What do you have there?”

Darcy smiled lazily up at Steve. When had he gotten there? She shrugged it off. “Asgardian Mead.” 

Steve’s eyes shot up in disbelief as she stretched her arm in his direction flask still in hand, “Want some?”

“I don’t think so.” He sat down on the opposite side of the small wooden patio bench, “How did you even manage to get your hands on that?” 

“Do you know what best thing about this place is?” Steve opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off, “That since Wakanda has been made into a neutral base of operations for your little group of super friends, every member has their own suite... Including overly-buff Norse Gods who are rarely on planet.”

Steve shook his head in disbelief, “You stole this from Thor’s room?”  
She fought back a grin at his obvious discomfort. 

“Have I offended your delicate sensibilities with my petty theft?” She wiggled her brows at him and actually smiled when the corners of his mouth tilted upward in surprise. She waved him off when he didn’t respond. “He won’t care, I promise. We’re old buds, Thor and I.”

“Really?” he slid closer to her and shrugged before holding his hand out and looking at her expectantly. She smirked at him and handed the flask over, “So you guys are old friends, huh?” 

“Yep, we had a three-way once.”

“What?!”

“Me... him... and my Taser.”

Steve stopped the flask just before it reached his lips and eyed her with a glint in his eyes, “That was you?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, and I regret nothing.” 

He actually laughed at that. 

“What?! I thought he was some crazy juiced up drunk.” She told him as she laughed at the memory. Steve stared at her silently for several seconds. “What?”

“I’ve never heard you laugh before, I like it, it’s nice. You should do it more.”

She shrugged, “It’s the mead.”

“Then I’m officially a loyal fan of the mead.”

Her eyes darted to his and she couldn’t explain the warmth she felt at his words. He was a good person, someone who she could trust and confide in. She had no idea how she knew that, but she did, and with that realization all her bravado fell away.

“I feel like a fool,” she admitted.

“Why?” He stared at her wide-eyed. “He’s the one who lied Darcy, and honestly you still don’t even know why.”

“He lied all right, about everything. Our whole life together was nothing but a lie.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Don’t I? I don’t know who he really was, or what he did for a living... Or if he even really loved me.” Her voice trailed off and she did her best to keep the tears from falling, she had to be stronger than that. 

He held the flask back out to her and she snatched it up and took a healthy chug. She pulled it back when she began to cough loudly. She felt a bit of relief when a warmth flowed through her... Yep, the mead was great.

“You know we met that day in New York.”  
He didn’t need her to specify what day she meant. ‘That Day in New York’ was the same for all of them.

“Really? Hardly seems like the most romantic first meeting.”

“I know, right? Anyway, some idiot thought that aliens taking over the world was the ideal time for increasing his criminal resume.” She handed the drink back to him, “Tried mugging me at gun point and me being me, I mouthed-off at him. He had a gun and Andrew knocked him out. He saved me.”

“Wow, maybe not the most romantic but definitely memorable, huh?”

“It was, almost too memorable.”

“You think it was a set-up.” He stated, finally understanding what she was getting at.

“I have no idea about anything anymore. It was just too perfect, you know? He was exactly my type. Cute, smart, kind, artistic. The pictures he took... They were beautiful. It was so believable that he was really a photographer.”

“Maybe he was. You know, it is possible that things changed after he’d already met you. That it was completely by chance.”

“I really hope you’re right, I’d hate for it all to have been a lie.”   
She leaned back and pulled her knees into her chest, it was a awkward position given how tiny the bench was so instead she stretched them out in front of her and braced her heels against the metal guardrail of the balcony. “I really loved him. I think a part of me always will.”

“I know.”

“You know what? Enough of this, I need to focus on something else tonight.” She turned her head back up and closed her eyes. “Help take my mind off things. Tell me something about you.”

“What do you wanna know about?”

“Anything... I’m sure you’ve got a ton of interesting stories. Ooh, will you tell me about your friend? Bucky, right?”

“You wanna know about Bucky?” He asked his eyes wide.

“Yeah? Is that weird? Did I overstep? I’ve been known to do that after a few drinks. You don’t have to tell me,” she told him with a wave of her hand.

“No, it’s fine, it’s just... Most people want to know about the Captain, and Bucky is more personal.” He lifted his legs so his position matched hers, “What do you wanna know?”

“What were you guys like, when you were young, before all this?” She motioned to his body.

“Ah, you wanna know about pre-serum Steve?”

“Yeah, what were you like?”

“Weak.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“It’s true. I was a sickly kid, and tiny. I was bullied constantly. That’s how Bucky and I became so close. He never let anyone mess with me... Even when I wouldn’t back down making a situation worse. He was the strong one.”

“I don’t know about that, I mean for you to be able to tolerate all that, to be strong enough to endure that and not let it ruin you. To not let the fact that you were smaller then the other guys stop you from trying to do the right thing. That seems pretty strong to me, brave too.”

“I get the feeling you always see the best in people.”

Darcy’s head fell to his shoulder as the alcohol seemed to finally take full effect, “When I was a kid I did,“ she admitted. “I haven’t been that person for a really long time though...” Her voice lowered to barely a whisper on her next words, “I think you’re just an easy person to see the best in.”

She forced away any guilt she felt being this close to him and closed her eyes and felt him smooth a curl from her face, “You are too, dollface.” He continued telling her stories of him and Bucky, his voice being the last thing she heard as she drifted off.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

“Well this is different?” Drew looked at the familiar scene of destruction around them.

“Seems appropriate,” Darcy sniped, “considering this little ‘cute meet’ of ours is most likely the first in a long string of lies you fed me.”

He took a step back and shoved his hands into his front pockets, his shoulders hunched forward, it was a gesture he’d used a lot while they were together whenever they’d bicker about something and he knew he was in the wrong. She’d used to find it adorable, now she just wondered if it was just another lie, a little manipulation to get her to let her guard down. “You don’t really believe that do you?”

“I don’t know, do I?”

He bobbed his head slowly, “You know the truth, I know you do.”

“I thought I did,” she wiped a single tear away. “But you lied to me, Drew! That passport picture was you, but it wasn’t.You fucking lied to me, for years!” She moved toward him and with a strength she didn’t know she shoved him, hard.

“Tell me the truth!” She screamed.

“I can’t,” his voice was so low and calm it only made her angrier. “I can’t, Darce,” he repeated his voice pleading.

“Why?”

“I can’t, Darcy.”

“Tell me!”

“I can’t.” 

“Stop saying that!” She moved toward him again and beat her fists against his chest her tears streaming down now.

“Darcy, stop!” He cried, his demeanor finally slipping as his arms wrapped tightly around around her. One anchored around her waist as the other stroked her hair soothingly.

“Tell me it wasn’t all a lie,” she begged.

“You know it wasn’t.” He held her to him as she continued to sob only loosening his grip when her cries slowed. 

When she finally pulled away from him they were back on their beach. He pulled her to the usual lounge chair but instead of laying and pulling her to him he sat down and patted the space next to him.   
Darcy eyed him warily and then slid down. She sat farther from him then she ever had before, the extra space feeling like a much-needed buffer. They sat in silence for so long, for too long. 

When she found the strength to speak, she was shocked by what came from her, “Are you mad at me?”

“Nah, I’ve been hit harder.”

“That wasn’t what I was talking about.”

“I know.” His hand closed the gap between them and covered hers, “It’s okay that you feel a connection to him. It’s also okay that you like him. Honestly, he’s pretty hard not to like.”

“I’m not ready to be with someone else.”

“You may think that, but it’s been a long time Darcy, I’ve been gone a long time.”

“I’ll never stop missing you.”

He pulled her to him with a single arm. Her head tucked under his chin. “Maybe not completely, but you can miss me and still live your life. That’s what I want for you Darcy, to move on.”

“Shh,” she reached up and covered his mouth with her hand, “Can we not do this right now, can we just have this... please?” Drew leaned back and held her like he always did.

“Okay Darce, okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all who have left reviews and kudos, they mean so much! :)  
> Special Thanks to Newbatgirl for helping edit once again, if not for her this would have been a complete mess.

CHAPTER 6...

As soon as she opened her eyes the next morning, Darcy quickly became aware of two things. The first was that she must have still been outside when she’d fallen asleep, the sun was searingly bright, forcing her to clench her eyes shut to try to lessen the glare. The second being that she was closely snuggled into an inviting warmth to her right. Darcy didn’t need to open her eyes to know that she was currently using Steve Rogers as her own personal pillow.

The moment the thought came to Darcy, her eyes shot open. Glancing down she noted her arm wrapped tightly around Steve’s waist, his arm crossing over hers leaving his hand to rest gently against her thigh, just above her knee. Darcy pulled her arm back and slowly moved his hand from her leg to his. It wasn’t until she tried to stand that she realized Steve’s other arm was wrapped around her shoulders and holding her body to his. Keeping her eyes locked on his face, she watched for any signs he was waking as she reached up and gripped his middle finger between her pointer finger and thumb, then lifted his hand up over her head and rested it on his chest. 

Darcy slowly slipped from the bench and stood beside him for a moment, watching as he continued to sleep. When she’d dreamt of Andrew the night before she’d admitted to him that she still wasn’t ready to move on. She knew that was the truth, but she also knew she wanted to be.

Even more surprising than when she had realized that was figuring out she may have found someone she was interested on moving on with. It wasn’t just surprising though, it was also completely insane. In what world did someone like her get to move on with someone like Steve? Of course when she finally started feeling something for someone it was for a guy who was out of her reach. Someone who was just trying to be a friend to her by being a shoulder for her to lean on as she worked through her grief.

Shaking she head at her stupidity, Darcy hurried her way back through her patio doors and into her room to gather herself an outfit on the way to the bathroom for a long shower. With any luck he’d be awake and gone before she got out and they could skip the whole awkward, sort of morning after.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Steve watched as Darcy fled yet another room as soon as he entered, and he wasn’t the least bit surprised. Sudden and immediate exits had become her go-to move, a move that she’d been perfecting ever since she’d woken up in his arms the previous morning.

As he’d watched her drift off in his arms that night outside her room he’d foolishly believed that something was starting to happen between them, but as he watched her flee from him once again he realized that either he was wrong, or she was intentionally distancing herself from him. To an extent he could understand why, but he couldn’t help being discouraged by it. 

He’d really thought they were starting to form a bond. When he was with her it was the first time since he’d been thawed from that ice that he felt like he was truly connecting with a woman. Darcy understood what it was to lose someone and yet after all that pain she was still an amazing person. She was quick-witted and kindhearted, and, regardless of what she thought, unbelievably strong. 

Darcy had told him that seeing the video of her from the graveyard made her realize how ‘broken’ she was now, but she was wrong. Just her being in Wakanda proved that. She just needed to figure that out for herself. 

It was as Steve stared at her after she’d drifted off against his shoulder that it had hit him like a sudden jolt. Given the chance he could really start to fall for this girl. As soon as the thought hit him he had known that now was not the time, that she wasn’t ready. He could wait though, knowing it would be worth it if he did. In the meantime he was happy to simply be her friend, he could handle that. What he couldn’t handle was Darcy’s new avoidance tactic.

A part of Steve knew that when they woke up in the morning she may be uncomfortable about them falling asleep together, but he hadn’t expected her to completely shut down on him. 

When he had woken up on her bench at an odd angle, Darcy was already pulling away from his arms. He stayed motionless letting her think he was still asleep as she fled. He’d hoped that giving her a few minutes to collect herself might help. 

After she’d rushed into her en suite bathroom, he’d slowly stood from the bench and stretched his arms above his head stretching out his back. Steve moved inside and moved to her kitchenette to start a pot of coffee. After it finished brewing, he poured them both a mug and waited patiently for her to finish showering. 

When what seemed like an hour or better later she’d finally exited the bathroom and all the openness he’d seen in her the night before was gone, and so it had begun.

If he entered a room, she left. 

If she came into a room he was already in, she found an excuse to bolt almost immediately. 

It was exhausting. He had sought her out the first day, but after a small pat on his shoulder and a suggestion from Jane to step back a bit he had done just that.

Nat had noticed the awkwardness between the pair too, as well as his way of searching her out whenever he entered a room and her suggestions were a lot less gentle then Jane’s. “Quit it, stalker,” was all she’d said when she walked by him and slapped him upside the head. She was direct, he’d give her that.

So he’d give her space. If she was ever ready to talk to him again, he’d be waiting.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Darcy stood ramrod straight as Natasha circled her, already questioning her decision to ask the other woman for help. Nat assessed her carefully and Darcy began to feel like all of her physical imperfections were on display to be judged. 

She’d need to deal with the scrutiny, as hard as it was, if it meant being a part of this and being prepared when the time came for avenging Andrew. Darcy shook off her insecurities she relaxed slightly letting the Black Widow continue her assessment.

“Let me ask you a question, Lewis,” Natasha started, finally breaking the silence. “Why did you ask me to train you?”

“You already know why.”

“I do,” she moved in front of her, staring Darcy in the eyes. “But I want to hear you say it.”

With a strength she didn’t know she possessed Darcy maintained eye contact with one of the scariest women she’d ever met. “I want to be there when you guys go after these people. I want to be there for the actual mission.”

“And what do you need to do in order to get the rest of the team to agree without complaint?”

“I must acquire general intel on our target as well as at least a basic knowledge of combative techniques and skills,” She quoted from her first discussion with Nat about what she’d have to do to be there.

“Exactly, so you’ve been working with Dr. Foster on information gathering and you want me to help you with the physical part of your training. In order for that to happen you need to trust me. You need to do whatever I say without complaint or question.”

“Fair enough,” she stretched her arms out. “I am but your clay to mold, Obi Wan.”

Natasha arched a brow at her and Darcy lowered her arms, “Sorry. What would you like me to do?”

“Tell me why this mission is so important to you.”

“I want to get the bastards who hurt Drew.”

“Like the man who tortured him?”

Darcy gawked in disbelief. Nat’s words were more callous and harsh than necessary.

When she didn’t respond Natasha continued, “The man who took him and the life you two were going to have together away from you.”

Darcy’s hands curled into tight fists, and her jaw clenched, “Yes,” she ground out.

Nat smirked at her knowingly. “Do you feel that? The rage?” She took a step back and braced herself. “Now use it, and hit me.”

Not needing convincing Darcy stepped forward, pulled her fist back and swung. A move that was easily dodged and caused the younger woman to stumble forward.

“Good, now when you swung at me, what were you thinking about?”

“My fist hitting your face,” she sniped.

“That’s cute, but that’s the kind of thinking that makes you lack any strength or accuracy in your swings.” 

Darcy’s jaw dropped and she glared at the Widow, not sure how to respond.

“You have potential though,” Nat admitted, “but you’re never going to be able to fully tap into it unless you do exactly as I tell you.” She moved behind Darcy and leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “That anger you felt, let it back in, but before you attack you force it down. You need to be able to channel all your negative emotions into your fighting, but not let it control you. Got it?”

“Yes.”

Natasha walked over to a large cage-like room filled with well-organized equipment and when she came back she was sliding on an odd-shaped pair of black gloves, “These are called boxing mitts, aiming for these will help with your accuracy, plus I’ll be able to assess the strength of your hits.” She held up her hands and met Darcy’s eyes, “Now let’s get started.”

They practiced with the mitts for nearly half an hour. Darcy was so focused that she completely missed Clint Barton quietly slipping into the room. With a tiny nod from Natasha, he silently moved to right behind Darcy and gave her a small shove catching her completely off guard and throwing off her balance. When she steadied herself she whipped around and stared at him eyes wide, “What the hell was that?”

“That was your second lesson,” Darcy’s eyes shot to Nat. “Use your instincts. Good instincts can save your life in a situation like the one we’re going into. You should be able to feel when someone is coming up behind you.”

“Okay, well my instincts lean toward using my taser.” She glared at Clint who simply smiled at her sass.

“You need more to depend on for offensive and defensive skills than just a taser.”

“It does work though,” Darcy insisted. 

“In certain situations, but your skill set has to be expanded,” She stopped moving and stared Darcy in the eyes.

“Okay, and how the hell do we do that?”

Natasha held up a blindfold, “Remember when I said that you’d need to trust me?”

She eyes the other woman warily, “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Two hours later Darcy was laying out on one of the mats glaring up at the smirking faces of Hawkeye and Black Widow. “I hate the both of you.”

“No you don’t,” Clint insisted as he reached down to help her up. “Why don’t you go ahead over and cool down on the punching bag,” he suggested.

Darcy nodded, moved over to the bag and began hitting it over and over.

“So, Barton, what the hell are you doing here? And please tell me your better half kicked your ass when you told her you were leaving and what for.”

“She wasn’t thrilled,” he admitted, “but she understood. So again, what’s happening here?”

“Basic training.”

“Of a civilian? Is that really the best idea?”

Darcy turned quickly glared at him. Nat just smiled at her, “Ready to go again?” 

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Darcy dragged herself down the hallway to her room. She would swear the passage got longer with every step. Natasha promised her that she would get her in shape enough to be involved in the mission. She couldn’t figure out how that was possible, after only a couple of hours in the gym with Natasha and Clint she was completely worn out. 

After what felt like an hour she finally reached her door. Just as she was about to open it her phone let out an annoying chime and Darcy cringed knowing what was about to happen. Resting her forehead against the frame she answered the phone with a whiny hello.

“Darcy? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she responded wearily. “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry, but Tony says he needs to see you in the conference room.”

Darcy glared at the direction she had just come from, “Of course he does,” she grumbled. “I don’t suppose he could have asked for me twenty minutes ago when I was leaving the gym and passed right by the damn conference room?”

“Take it up with him, Darce.” Jane told her with a chuckle.

“Right, well please let him know I‘m on my way, I should be there sometime tomorrow,” she said pushing off from the frame and dragging herself back toward to the elevators.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Darcy flopped into one of the chairs and groaned loudly, “You summoned me?”

“Yes,” he eyed her cautiously, “what’s the matter with you?”

“I think Nat and Clint are enjoying torturing me under the guile of basic training.”

“You’re training with Natasha and Clint?” Tony wondered, “Why?”

She wasn’t ready for any one else to know her plan to try and convince the team to let her join them on the mission.“Not much else to do,” she answered vaguely with a shrug, ignoring Tony’s obvious look of suspicion she continued, “So why exactly am I here?”

“I can answer that for you, Miss Lewis,” Darcy glanced up in shock at one of the large monitors behind Tony.

“G-Man? Didn’t I hear that you were... You know” She motioned a slice to the throat with her thumb.

“Charming.” His words were meant to show annoyance at her but the quirk on his mouth told her otherwise.

“Sorry, I’m sure Tony has already told you that it’s been a rough couple of days.”

“He did, that’s actually why he contacted me. Now, normally I wouldn’t do this, but given the fact that you’re already aware of so many other things I think I can make an exception.”

Tony slid a folder across the large glass table and Darcy picked it up. Flipping it open, she saw a familiar face grinning back at her. The smile he wore was so different than any she’d ever seen him wear. It was kind of smug, almost cocky, and definitely not the same photo from before, this one was attached to a SHIELD ID badge. 

It was official. Andrew had been a secret agent man.

“So he really was a liar? Good to know,” Darcy snapped, slamming the folder shut and stood from the table. Bracing her palms to it she steadied herself thinking if she didn’t she might fall over right there in front of them both. “Was there anything else?”

“Just the folder, which is yours to keep. Unfortunately I couldn’t give you all the details so some parts have been redacted, for your own safety. But I can at least give you the comfort of what’s in there. You’ll understand when you read it.”

Unsure of what to say she gave him a shaky nod and snatched up the folder. “Thank you,” she mumbled.

“You’re welcome. Oh and Miss Lewis?”

“Yes?”

“Speaking as someone who knew Agent Miller, I think you should know that he hated keeping the truth from you.”

Darcy stiffened, refusing to acknowledge him but unable to take another step.

“I was his mentor. I recruited him myself. Andrew was like family to me, at least until...” Watching Coulson’s cool demeanor slip threw her and Darcy forced herself to remain silent hoping he would continue, but when he did she could tell he wasn’t going to elaborate on what changed his feelings on Andrew. “While he loved what he did, his one regret was having to lie to you.”

Unable to hold back she asked, “Until what?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said he was like family ‘until’ something. Well, until what?” She demanded, “What cost him your loyalty? It must be something pretty damn huge for you to leave him wherever he was to be tortured and murdered.”

“Darcy,” Tony warned, his concern for her clear.

“Don’t!” She snapped, holding up her hand. “Why haven’t the people who hurt him been brought to justice,” she demanded. “You say you were his mentor, that you cared about him and he was like family? Then why the hell hasn’t anything been done about this?”

“All I can tell you is that Agent Miller was not on an official mission when he was killed. He’d gone rogue.”

“What? Why would he...”

“I’m afraid that’s all I can say.”

“Of course it is,” she scoffed as she turned on her heel and stormed from the room.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

All the papers from the folder were scattered on the coffee table in front of her. She was so focused on them that she didn’t notice that Steve had entered her room or even that he’d sat down next to her. She jumped when he spoke again. 

“You okay?”

“Steve!” She blinked and shook her head clearing away her mental fog, “Hi.”

“Hi, are you okay?” he repeated.

“I don’t know. Honestly, I’m just really confused right now.”

“I would have thought that all of this,” he gestured to the table, “plus getting to talk to Phil Coulson would have cleared up some of that for you.”

“He told me that Andrew wanted to tell me the truth and that he hated lying to me.”

“I’m sure that’s true.”

“I wish he’d trusted me... maybe things could have been different if he had.”

He reached out and placed a comforting hand to her shoulder, “Darcy, you can’t weigh yourself down with the what ifs. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you do that... trust me.”

“I’m sorry,” she announced suddenly, startling him, “for avoiding you,” she explained at his confusion.

“Ah... Yeah, what was that?” he asked, lifting his hand from hers and rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Would you be willing to accept just the apology for now and wait until later for the explanation?” she pleaded. The last thing she wanted to do at this moment was explain to him the confusion he caused inside her.

“I can do that,” he said with a half grin.

Darcy reached out to grasp his larger hand in hers and smiled gently. His words and kindness since she’d gotten here were more helpful to her then he realized. “You’re a good friend to me Steve.” 

She wouldn’t deny, at least to herself, that what she was starting to feel for him went beyond simple friendship, but for now that was all he could be to her.

He reached up with his other hand and gently brushed her hair over her shoulder. “I’m here for you no matter what you need,” he promised.

She locked eyes with his and sighed. Right, just friends for now. She had a feeling that was going to be far easier said than actually done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, things got hectic. it may be down to an update every week or two from here on out.


End file.
